Today Captain Quark during his vacation in Metropolis, had to get his big hands dirty to save a defenseless civilian who was in danger of being exterminated once and for all by a group of angry Blargs who were trying to get hold of his brand new E-Watch, a brand new watch full of many cutting edge functions, a device that seems to be unobtainable due to a chip crisis. The group of ill-intentioned people had to fight against Captain Quark who immediately chased them away with a Blaster in the butt! The thugs, as reported by the Captain's account, fled on the run and left the brand new and unobtainable E-Watch to our unfortunate citizen victim of the incident.
Captain Quark said, "It was a great honor for me to be of assistance to this frail and helpless citizen. He was very lucky that I came to his aid or he would have lost his wonderful new watch! You may be wondering how I noticed this poor citizen in danger and well, let's just say I was out on the terrace relaxing and reading a Lance&Janice comic when at some point I hear screams and a loud noise in the distance that were ruining my day... so fed up with the noise, I headed towards the screams and that's when I found a poor citizen under attack from a bunch of stinky Blargs. Arriving at the scene of the "almost" crime, I realize that I wasn't wearing pants and those horrible Blargs as soon as they saw me burst out laughing like idiots. Ashamed, I went back to my super secret base that no one knows where it is... I put on my tight pants and went back to them. I used all my strength, my huge biceps and my powerful Blaster to chase away that group of Blargs, and while they were running away scared, I concluded my heroic task by saying... "My Blaster runs really, really hot." Our dear citizen thanked me by giving me his very expensive and unobtainable E-Watch with the price of too many bolts and that's how I went home tired but richer!"
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